(NOTE: This post originally appeared as a post to the NeoGAF gaming forums by me in May of 2007, and is the inspiration for this blog.)
Dear Guy with the Flag in the Motorcycle Sidecar in Multiplayer Call of Duty 3 Last Night:
I’m sorry.
There I was, with 11 of my Axis teammates in the lush Forêt d'Ecouves, locked in a Capture the Flag stalemate with only 2 minutes left on the clock.
Slowly making my way towards the enemy HQ, using every available fallen tree and piece of brush for cover, I knew that my prospects for success were dim. The Allies had tenaciously rebuked every assault thus far. And, as one of the Medic class, I knew my standard-issue trench gun (A shotgun so named for the brutally effective job it did so well in the real war) wouldn’t be much good if I came across someone packing even a medium range weapon and a good eye. But still, I pressed on.
That’s when I heard it – shots at 12 o’clock. I’d been discovered. My heart sank as I waited for the inevitable flash of red that would mean my end. And then – I saw you.
Cresting the hill in front of me, Allied flag in hand, running towards our base at full gallop. For a second, time froze, a scene from a movie in still life.
“The motorcycle goddamnit! The motorcycle!” you cried desperately, bullets whizzing by. Breaking from my reverie, I spun around and spotted the bike, idling in a nearby ditch. I jumped in the drivers seat and got the tires on the road just as you slid into the passenger seat, precious cargo in tow.
For a moment, as brothers now, you and I, we shared the thrill of victory. You let out a small laugh of relief as I gunned the gas and steered us towards home. Who knows what horrors you endured to get that flag and make it halfway across the map still intact. Now, speeding away from the enemy, you must have felt that you had cheated death, somehow.
Yes, for a moment, we had won. Then, I promptly drove us into a tree, and your pursuers gunned us down like dogs.
Your plaintive cry of “Noooooooo!” still rings in my ears.
That the Allies subsequently scored and won with only 3 seconds left on the clock not doubt only made you curse my name more.
Dear guy with the flag in the motorcycle sidecar...
I’m sorry.
